It’s been a while…
It’s been a while since I’ve put pen to paper.
Actually, it has been months but I guess that’s what happens when your days and weeks become full.
My life has become very full (and is filling up) in beautiful ways — ways I have prayed for for years upon years; there is praise in the midst of this fullness. And tiredness (a good tired).
But as I walked to my car this morning I felt that familiar stir to sit and contemplate this stage of my life — for it’s spring in Zaraland and I must stop and smell the lilies.
Questions
It is difficult to know when to plant dreams and what to do with them once they’ve been planted. As with planting earthly seeds in a garden or field, you must plant the seeds in the right season. There’s no use planting a mango tree in winter or a pumpkin patch in spring!
The seed, the soil, the season and the stewarding all must be in balance for fruit to bloom.
It’s the same for our dreams (dreams, ideas, hairbrained schemes — anything your heart longs to do or create or be). Dreams are seeds which must be planted — first in our hearts, then in our hands, the fruit of which is called to feed the multitude (with twelve basket’s full leftover).
I have dreams I’ve planted which never even sprouted.
I have dreams I’ve planted and have seen small growth, only to wither without water.
I had dreams I had hoped to plant this year — promised that there would be fruit — only to once again let the seed sleep.
I would love to see these dreams bear rich, ripe fruit, but as I look at my ever-filling life I sigh and wonder just how, or when, or even if, I should plant these seeds.
Is now the right time? But does the “right” time even exist?
Right Timing
Two weeks ago I started looking for a new job. I signed up to Seek, readied my CV, wrote cover letters and applied to multiple postings a day. I even refreshed my LinkedIn page (but who knows what to do with that thing).
Last Sunday night, one of my parents friends told me she had a job for me — and EA role for a major financial company in Sydney, ”You’d be perfect for it!” So I gave her my CV.
The next day I was told the CEO wanted to meet me.
The day after that I was in his office (views of the stunning Sydney harbour the backdrop), talking about the future of his company and why I should want to join the team.
Two hours later, I got the job.
My experience says that there is such a thing as the “right time”. It was the right time for me to move back to Sydney from New Zealand last year, as I met my boyfriend just six months after moving back. It was the right time for me to learn ancient Hebrew last year, as my new boss is Jewish and also reads ancient Hebrew.
The right time leads to the right step which leads to the right circumstances for dreams to flourish.
Preparation
There are only a few short weeks before I start my new job, a job which is a huge step up from anything I’ve done before, and (naturally) I’m scared. Oh, I know without a doubt that this is the right job, and I know with full confidence that I can do it. The fear comes from the unknown.
So these next few weeks and days are, for me, a time of preparation and as it is also Holy Week in the Christian faith my thoughts have been lead to consider Jesus. How did Jesus prepare for His ministry? How did Jesus prepare His heart to follow the Father with absolute, unwavering confidence? How did Jesus prepare for His death on the cross?
In obscurity and with much prayer.
My generation has a habit of working out their thoughts and lives in the public domain, their Instagram and TikTok pages a public diary, so to speak. I have been steadily trending away from the public eye of social media, seeking other ways — slower ways, to record my life (hello scrapbooking).
I don’t think Jesus spent time in obscurity just because the internet was thousands of years away from being invented, I think He needed it.
Obscurity doesn’t scare me. Early hours in the morning in prayer and contemplation doesn’t scare me, I prefer it, I need it. But I’m recognising that my need for that time is growing. My need to depend daily on the Father is growing.
Preparing well isn’t just about research or rest or a new wardrobe. Our soul needs to be prepared too — whether that’s for a new job or to plant the seed of a dream.
Obscurity and prayer prepares our hearts, hands and souls to carry and bear that which Jesus calls us to carry. And He Himself promises:
“Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
— Matthew 11: 28-29 ESV
I am consciously realigning my heart toward the lowly Jesus this Holy Week, considering the beauty and obscurity in which He walked, the quiet yet steadfast reliance on the Father His daily bread.
Alongside the research and the rest and the new wardrobe I’ll need for the 13th floor of Corporate Sydney, I am also preparing myself with the quiet, steadfast trust of Jesus, knowing deep down that all this perfect timing will not only lead to His glory in my workplace, but perhaps, the tilling of the soil of my soul, ready to receive the dream-seeds I carry.
All in His perfect, glorious timing.
x Zara
I love this post :) "How did Jesus prepare for His death on the cross? In obscurity and with much prayer." This newsletter is evidence of much mulling and many musings. Those who spend time in obscurity often have the most profound contributions to society, just as you have done with this Substack post. As one humble member of society, I can say I have definitely benefited. Thank you.