Contemplation: Finding the place in you where you are here and now being created by God. Thomas Merton.
This weeks contemplation: Simplicity & Conformity.
I ache for simplicity.
I long for the days of non-automation —
of letters sent in the mail
of meals shared around the table, not the TV
of printed photos and albums open upon laps
of books before bed
of music played on record players
of news in the paper
of home made clothing and times of mending
of fame being reserved for movie stars
of locally grown produce and knowing your butchers name
of kids riding bikes until dusk, streetlights the sign to come home.
I ache, long for, pant as though gripped with painful thirst — for simplicity.
I did a dangerous thing today.
I calculated how much time I spent on my phone, and honestly, it’s horrific.
I spend 2 1/2 hours a day on my phone, 1 hr 45 mins of that is on Instagram. And these numbers are after I made a major decision to reduce the time I spent scrolling!
I did some calculations on that average. If I continue to spend 2 1/2 hours a day on my phone, that’s 5.7 days a year.
And this isn’t 9-5 days — it’s 24 hour days.
That is almost 6 consecutive 24 hour time periods of me —
watching what other women wear
of hearing other peoples opinions about the state of the world
of listening to other peoples thoughts on the Bible
looking at other peoples art
at other peoples families
at other peoples cats and dogs and funny videos…
…instead of spending that time with my family,
on my art,
on reading the Bible for myself,
on shopping for what I like to wear,
of making my own mind up about the world.
I am giving a whole week away to strangers on the internet who do not know me or have my best interest at heart.
I have felt the call to slow down for a while now.
To choose the scenic route, the road less traveled. To enjoy the gentle bends of earth and river. To stop and see the birds playing with the wind and autumn leaves and to capture that beauty in my heart.
About this time last year I felt the veil lift from my eyes.
All of a sudden, the incredulity of sharing personal information and spending time online made no sense to me. In fact, I saw it as an idol, a giant distraction away from the things of the Lord, in actual fact, leading me toward the things of the world — hate, bitterness, enmity, strife — I think there’s a verse about that somewhere…
Ephesians 4:31-32, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
. . .
Here is an excerpt from my journal last year:
Social media has destroyed the beauty of living your life in humility and community, of living your life before the eyes of the Lord.
It has taken our eyes off of our families and local communities and put them on strangers, vying for their approval, for ‘likes’. And I want this approval! That’s the sickest thing. Twelve years of social media use has shaped my brain, my perception of myself and the world, believing myself to be better than I ought (Romans 12:3-4).
I think of myself all the time. I share only a selection of things to my IG story that I want people to know because I want them to think I’m a certain way. That’s status signally. That’s lying.
I’m wrong. I’m in the wrong. I’m participating in a system of classism and pride, elevating myself above others. Why do I even want people to see photos of me and my life? What is that?
. . .
The call to me was clear — to return to simpler ways.
The effortless beauty of simple existence.
Because that’s what I really want — I just want to exist, simply.
The nature of conformity.
What is the drive behind our social media use (and our children’s social media use) if not the need to conform?
Conforming in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it’s a natural part of life.
Ages ago when we lived in villages of no more than 50-100 people, conforming to and learning the ways of your culture was what grounded you in community. Other people knew which tribe you belonged to because of what you wore, the songs you sung, and how you acted.
Conformity and Belonging are two sides of the same coin.
But today, we are constantly told that conformity is a dirty word — all the while selling us things to conform, and shaming us if we don’t!
It’s to wear the latest fashion, own the newest skin care or make up brand, use words like “slay” and “rizz” — only for it to be completely different next week!
The conformity machine is so big, and so fast (at the same time telling us NOT to conform but be our own “authentic” selves and to live “our truth”) — we were never created to keep changing this way.
It’s exhausting us.
It’s burning us out.
And it’s leaving us defenseless and full of anxiety.
In the past, conformity brought with it safety and belonging to a group of people who knew you. It brought solidarity to a community and grounded you in family when trauma and suffering came.
When trouble came you could face it because you weren’t worrying about who you are.
But now — we’re constantly conforming to a community of strangers who don’t know us and who aren’t there when *real life* happens.
I can’t keep doing that anymore, not in good conscience.
So what am I doing instead?
I am taking my mind back from the algorithm.
Here are a list of apps I’m deleting from my phone
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
YouTube
Pinterest - yes, Pinterest.
Upon some serious reflection, I am completely addicted to Pinterest. I consult Pinterest about what clothes to wear more than I do Instagram. It’s influencing my decisions more than any influencer on TikTok.
I am no longer allowing other people or apps make my decisions for me.
As the image bearer of a holy God (Genesis 1:26-27), I think it’s clear I’m not going to look more like Christ each day if I’m constantly consuming and conforming to the world.
*Disclaimer time*
I went through and unfollowed all IG accounts that made me feel terrible, and now only follow people who I know or who have the same hobbies as I do (although, the thought to delete even those is crossing my mind).
And there are some really beautiful accounts and people on social media — and I’ve become good, personal friends with some of them — what a grace!
But a line in the sand must be drawn (for me).
I am deleting these apps from my phone, and from my iPad, with the only way to check these platforms being on the computer.
Here are some other things I’m doing to help slow down
I am knitting on the train instead of scrolling
I am taking photos with a film camera instead of my phone
I am looking to my Grandmothers cook books instead of google for recipes
I am deciding to wear what I like wearing not what Pinterest tells me
I am experimenting with my own ideas for artistic expression
I’m getting into scrapbooking
I’m going to my local church, being in a Bible study group, and reading the Bible through in a year instead of listening to sermons on YouTube.
Here are some verses that are guiding me in this change.
1 Thessalonians 4: 10b-12 ESV
“But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more [to love your brothers & sisters in Christ], and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”
Mark 12: 29b-31 ESV
“Jesus answered, “The most important [commandment] is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.””
Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 NIV
“Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.
Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil.
Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days.
For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”
Let’s return to the beauty of living your life in humility and community and before the eyes of the Lord alone.
Let’s live our lives in the effortless beauty of simple existence.
with so much love,
x Zara
omg ! I just deleted all my social media apps and I feel so much better now 🥹 I have made a decision to only focus on my studies and substack 💕 Glad to see i'm not the only one 🥰
I’m so glad I was spared from earning money through Instagram. It would make it a lot harder to silence if I was relying on it for monetary purposes. Recently, God has even specifically told me that I don’t need my phone at all to ‘find my audience’. How freeing!